Aanchal BansalCA Finalist, B.Com. student at Sri Venkateswara College, Delhi University
It’s okay to feel ‘not okay’.
In the present world, we need to normalise this concept.
And how do I reach that conclusion?
Well I’ve been an avid reader throughout my life, and self help books are my usual go to.
So while reading ‘The subtle art’, by Mark Manson, I came across a concept I found vaguely familiar to my own thought process.
Mark mentioned, and I strongly believe in it, that it is essential to ACCEPT your negative feelings.
In fact, if we decide to dig a little deeper into the cycle of positive and negative emotions, what you’ll realise is that the acceptance of a negative feeling, is in itself a positive experience- an experience of growth.
We, today, have gotten so caught up in our daily lives and routine, that ‘taking care of ourselves’ is a concept not of much importance to us. And when I mention taking care of oneself, I don’t just mean working out and eating right, that IS essential, however, I wish to focus on the long forgotten – your mental state of mind.
Just as our body requires workouts to be fit, so does our brain, again, ‘it’s OKAY to go to therapy’- another concept we need to normalize in this nation.
Addressing mental state of mind or any kind of negative emotion has evolved to be seen as more of a ‘weakness’. Expecting ourselves to be happy 365 days is an unrealistic self expectation.
My own journey of self love began after I finally gathered the courage to put myself first and step out of a majorly toxic relationship, it gave me nothing but mental agony. I clearly remember feeling like I was withering, all my confidence drying out each passing day. My mental state was so messed up, that I never really allowed anyone to get close to me, even friends.
Gradually, and self love indeed is a slow, gradual process, I learnt acceptance.
And as soon as I learnt that, before I knew it, I was pouring my heart out to my best friend. About whatever I felt, not just about the relationship, but career, college and life in general.
And trust me, I know what the mindset of ‘keeping it all in because I can handle it’ feels like, but talking to her felt liberating. It was a feeling alien to me, I had never been much of a ‘talk your feelings out’ person, but it felt as if something I had been carrying so unnecessarily had been lifted off me.
Let me get one thing straight, it is STILL YOU who has to fight through what goes on in your head, still you who needs to get it out of there. But knowing someone’s got your back, someone knows what you’re going through, knows what kind of a beautiful warrior you are and the magnificent human being that will emerge out after it’s over, is never a bleak feeling.
But the fight is still yours, and the most tragic part is, it’s WITH you.
Considering people, who think they got no one to talk to, might sound weird, but I’ve been through that phase too, I guess we all feel lonely sometimes. And I’m not afraid to say it today THAT was the best phase so far in my life if I am talking about shaping me as a human being.
See, alone is powerful. Alone is empowering. Instead of seeing it as ‘damn I’m alone I have no one’, try changing your perspective to ‘I’m all by myself, no one influencing my decisions, I get to live and do things on MY terms, no conditions’
May seem like a vague concept, but tricking your head into translating a negative emotion into a positive one worked wonders for me. Through my time alone, when I had me and my struggles, I learnt that I am enough and I am worthy and I can do each and every thing by myself. Hell, I used to eat alone and even go to the movies alone, and I’ve enjoyed it more than I’ve enjoyed it with some company.
Having this kind of confidence, gives you an inner strength, strength to know you got your shit handled, that nobody’s opinion, conflict or anything inflicted upon you by any external source can rock your SOLID INTERIOR.
Alone is not powerless, it’s a superpower.
Talking is not weak, it’s Herculean.
If you still feel you got no one, and need to talk to someone, open your Instagram account, go to the search bar and just type @empowerpuff.
DM me here, I created this account TO LISTEN, TO HELP, TO BE THERE.
I will listen to you, no judgements, none at all.
And hey, if even that doesn’t work for you, it’s always okay to take therapy.
Mindpeers is an organization which has actually been curated to provide students therapy. Its super friendly, allows all modes of therapy (calls, video calls and live sessions) and the best part is it fits every student’s budget.
No excuses now. It’s time to talk it out.
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